So, we’re well into the third trimester and I’ve not actually had the time to sit down and talk about my feelings. It’s now July – we’ve been stuck in lockdown since the middle of March, and it’s safe to say that this pregnancy has absolutely flown by. Back then, it felt like an absolute age to get to summer and now with under 7 weeks to go, it’s as if summer isn’t even a part of 2020 anymore. I guess when you’re counting down the weeks and they go by so quickly, that is easily done.
For the most part, I’ve had a good pregnancy so far – I’m healthy, baby is healthy and there’s been absolutely nothing to worry about. I guess the problems lie with my mental health and how that’s really affected me this time round. Truth be told, I didn’t expect that to happen – I wanted this to be an easy ride, and as many of you know, that’s never the case. I think if things were ‘normal’ it wouldn’t be a problem, and I’ve touched on the loneliness I’ve felt throughout this period a lot during this time. Some days I have struggled to get out of bed but the guilt I feel to take time for myself overrides that because I have another child that needs me, a partner who is still working and a house that won’t clean itself.
I’m tired and sluggish; my head hurts and my back has really taken a beating recently but I know that that’s also down to low iron levels. I’ve spoken a lot about these things over on my Instagram, so forgive me if I sound like a broken record.
Cravings have been all over the place too! One for sure has been granola and yogurt, and various fruit – recently it’s been plums and peaches because they are delicious, as well as cheese sandwiches for lunch – I’ve been having that for weeks! They’ve been good cravings though, so I’m not complaining. Aversions are still firmly with tomato and red onion – the taste never goes away and the heartburn that comes with either of them is just not worth the effort!
With only a few weeks to go, we’re starting to get the last bits ready and raring to go before he is born. We’ve settled on the birth centre (provided everything is OK) and I am really keen to try a water birth this time round. In a few weeks we also have our first hypnobirthing session with Love Parenthood in Peterborough, via Zoom and I’m so excited to get the chance to try it this time round!
We still have a few bits to get; the crib, a couple of essentials like the Perfect Prep machine, steriliser and nappy caddies, and the nursery is getting on too, which I can’t wait to share. We are re-plastering all the rooms upstairs so trying to fit that in before the baby is born is quite a tight squeeze, especially when I can’t help too much with painting. My nesting urges are UNREAL this time around, and I think that’s because we’ve got our own space to make our own – I’m desperate to clean all the skirting boards, toothbrush clean the tiles in the kitchen and buy all new bits to make it look like a new house. I know it’s not realistic but I’m itching to make it look nice and I can’t explain the frustration that that’s not possible! I just want it to be perfect.
Isla is officially on her school holidays now, and I must admit that efforts to keep up with school work started to dwindle a few weeks ago, although she’s been on it more than me. I’m glad we have the next few weeks to ourselves though. I would have never had this time to spend with her properly had I been at work and I’m so grateful to squeeze in this time just the three of us. We still aren’t sure how she’s going to handle the new baby, even though we talk about him every day but a noisy baby may not be something she’s keen on and she might not even be that bothered when he’s born, which is understandable. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that their meeting won’t be the amazing and cute photo opportunity that we all dream of with siblings, but deep down I also know she’ll come round in her own time.